Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
