evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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