I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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