Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The power of my boobs compel you
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
