Non-Jews are for practice
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
