He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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