i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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