we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
