Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
