Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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