hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
