I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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