At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i will never coherently bang her
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
