Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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