DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
