shes about as inviting as chlamydia
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
