Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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