wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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