all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
