dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
