epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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