wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
