So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
