Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
