I am in a vortex of obligation.
You can't motorboat a personality
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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