It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
