do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
