She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
