"it" just moved
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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