Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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