Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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