the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
