is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
