How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
If I die, sorry about rent.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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