Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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