Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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