we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
