I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
as a side note pls kill me
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
