I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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