areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
