People in love make me want to vomit
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
