It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
