I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
