I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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