Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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