Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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