Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
