Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just cropdusted the office
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
