i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
