you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
