Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
