If i come over, it means nothing
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
